


Jupiter’s Addiction

by parchmentandpencils



Category: Nevermoor Series - Jessica Townsend
Genre: M/M, angst fuels me, im so sorry, poor jove, this is gonna hurt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-10-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:14:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26320975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/parchmentandpencils/pseuds/parchmentandpencils
Summary: Well. Looks like everyone’s favourite Jupiter North is gonna suffer.
Comments: 20
Kudos: 18





	1. The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TillyWunderWing](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TillyWunderWing/gifts).

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The beginnings of Jupiter’s misery.

Jupiter used to lie. Little white lies, lies about where he'd been, what he'd been doing, who he'd be hanging around with. He used to hide away, unable to meet people's eyes, afraid of all the secrets he didn't know how to filter out. He'd observe people from a distance, from a dark corner, trying to filter out the secrets, the shrouds of mystery that hung around people like smoke and shadows that could never be dispelled. The people who carried on like nothing was there, their heads held high even though the auras were there, the small signs that they weren't okay, that the happiness they felt was only surface level. 

Jupiter used to be vain, like all teenagers. He’d look in the mirror for hours, preening himself. The black shadows that swarmed him like a particularly bad case of flies could be easily explained by the mirror. It was smudged, it had been drawn on by a younger sibling with black eyeliner, his eyes were blurry that morning...

Sometimes it became too much and he had to turn away from the mirror. On the occasions he did not, he’d tentatively reach for the black shadows, sighing when his fingers met a thin film of grease. He’d recoil his hand almost immediately, resolving to not think anything of it. He’d try to swat it away, but it’d be here to stay. Permanently. He tried not to imagine himself being eventually filled up with black. And who would care? It wasn’t something they would be able to see, the covering that’d hide Jupiter from the rest of the world, that’d hide him from his true self.

A wholly black covering, which he would be able to _feel_ , which would feel so real, despite being mostly intangible, sounded like the darkness would swallow him up. He’d cease to exist, he would never be able to see himself for who he truly was. He could do that already, and the truth was, it disgusted him. Filled him with rage and loathing, sadness and anger. So many polar opposites he wouldn’t be able to ever explain away, wouldn’t be able to soothe the raging emotions inside of him, wouldn’t be able to _cope._

And the loss of control had him on the floor, curled up into a ball, unable to look up, otherwise he’d break. And who’d be there to pick him up? Nobody.

He didn’t need to gaze into his reflection to see the shroud of misery that would be hanging around him. _What a burden, I am. Not being able to see myself. How long until my parents can’t even stand to be around me?_

* * *

Jupiter knew he had to cope. He’d tell his parents he’d be going out, then rush out the door so he wouldn’t have to lie more. He didn’t want any more lies weighing down his conscience. Didn’t want people to look at him differently. He knew his parents worried about him, but he didn’t want them to eventually notice the aura and shadows around him that would surely be visible after a while. They seemed to grow stronger when they knew he’d try to avoid them, often causing him to curl up in a dark corner, hide his face, and fight back the hysterical laughter mixed with tears that he couldn’t let out.

If he did, he’d be weak.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t like making Jupiter sad, but it had to be done :(  
> It’s a short first chapter, but I have more planned. Plus it’s 5 past midnight and I know ratings will change for this story. Bear with me :)


	2. Curiosity leads to Weakness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jupiter has found something to cope with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ratings may change soon, I’m sure you can guess why :)

Jupiter, as well as being unable to look at himself, was also naturally curious. He had sat in the streets, staring at a fountain, when he heard the whispers.

”Angel Israfel...like an addiction!...so peaceful...come with me!....Delphian, this weekend...” and so on. 

Jupiter wasn’t sure if they were all talking about the same thing, but he gazed up at the people and immediately cringed, looking away. He then headed for the library. Nothing like a good search in the Nevermoor atlases to see what the “Delphian” was.

* * *

A couple of hours later, Jupiter wanted to slam his head into the wall. There was nothing there! It was like it was down a Tricksy road...or something... He jolted his head up so fast that he knocked it into the shelf above him, and he bit back a recently learnt curse so he could get out of the library without seeing anyone. However, it was not to be, as he was so busy staring at his feet that he’d bumped into some elder scholars.

”Watch where you’re going, freak!” one said, laughing like it was the funniest joke ever known to man.

Jupiter muttered an apology and walked to the side of them, still staring at his feet, but one stopped him.

”Look us in the eye, you coward,” another spat, forcefully taking his chin and lifting it so Jupiter would face them and not be able to look away.

Immediately, Jupiter flinched, looking at them hesitantly and trying not to back away. Every inch of them was covered in black, red and dark blue marks, the colours he’d associated with a person being bad. He shoved the hand away and stood tall.

“I don’t need to answer to the likes of _you_ ,” he said, voice wavering slightly, much to his chagrin, and ran through the library doors. Back to safety. Back to _home_.

* * *

The subject of Israfel didn’t come back to Jupiter’s mind until Friday, until it hit him like a bolt of lightning. His parents were having an animated discussion over the dinner table about theatre. His father was a large theatre fan and was trying to get his mother to go and see a musical with him. 

”...their voices are like angels!” He was arguing.

At this, Jupiter sat up. Israfel! How did he forget?

”Dad?” He asked hesitantly. “What’s the Delphian?”

His father sat up straight. “How did you find out about the New Delphian?” He asked.

Jupiter considered lying but found he didn’t want to, no, he _couldn’t._ “I heard some people talking about it. Where is it?”

”Bohemia,” his father muttered dreamily. “I’ve always wanted to go...”

His mother pinched his father, who became stern again.

”Promise me you won’t go there.”

Jupiter gave a non-committal sound and his father seemed satisfied.

* * *

Jupiter had every intention of going to the New Delphian. It was just the sheer curiosity that lead him to go, despite what his father had made him promise. Curiosity lead to weakness, he just didn’t know it yet. Not until he was there.

This was why he was planning a cover story for his parents to explain his absence all day. He just hoped it would be enough.

* * *

At breakfast, he decided to broach the subject.

”Dad?” He asked, afraid he would forget his cover story. “Can I go out today? For a while? I’m just going to wander around.” It was a half truth after all. He’d just be wandering _to_ Bohemia and into the New Delphian.

”You’re not going near the New Delphian, are you?”

”No.” _I’m going into it._

”Be back by ten at the latest,” was all his father said.

Jupiter resisted the urge to whoop. He didn’t even properly lie. Hopefully he’d be able to clear himself of all the lies that had accumulated within over the years. Hopefully the stench of his untruths would leave, and he’d be pure again.

He forced himself to leave the breakfast table slowly, in case they would get suspicious as to why he was so excited, and that would not do. However, once outside, he leaped onto the brolly rail and sped along the rail until he found somewhere that looked like a theatre communal area. He carefully unhooked and landed on his hands and knees, allowing himself to roll over so he didn’t hurt himself.

Once standing up, he allowed himself to look at the ground while carefully listening to the chatter around him. He pulled out an eyepatch and put it on so he wouldn’t hurt anyone. One of his mother’s friends, a Witness as well, had said that young Witnesses would benefit from the eyepatch, so he was trying it out. However, he couldn’t wear it all the time as people would ask questions. And he wouldn’t have that. 

_Temporary,_ he told himself, while his mind whispered, _forever._ He shook his head to clear it and followed the whispers about Israfel. He stuck closely behind a couple who were quietly gossiping about the “Angel” until he found a tricksy road.

Trying to rid himself of the little voice in his head while told him to turn back, he entered anyway, beginning to gag. He was breaking every rule, so what was one more?

The stench became stronger, until Jupiter was swallowing bile that had pooled into his mouth. Trying to step forward behind the couple, he briefly met resistance from the air before he fell through. The couple had gone, and he was unsure what to do next. He didn’t want to go back through the stink of the alley, so he sat down, absentmindedly pressing his feet to the wall. Immediately, the world righted.

”Cool,” Jupiter breathed, standing up and walking up the wall, which had become its very own alley. At the end, he sat down again, pressing his feet to the wall below, and the world righted once more. He looked at the sign declaring the place to be the New Delphian, and snuck in, sticking behind another couple. The girl at the door did not attempt to stop him, even though they had different hair colours and complexions. Maybe she thought he was adopted.

However, he wouldn’t allow himself to dwell, and so he stood at the back. Just in time as well, as the announcer screamed out Israfel’s name and the crowd went wild. Jupiter could not see well, so he pushed to the front, where his chin touched the stage floor. Israfel met his eyes and Jupiter felt a jolt of... something. Israfel motioned for him to cover his ears and Jupiter shook his head, obstinate. Israfel then shrugged as if to say “your loss”. Then he began to sing.

It was like the sun, the moon, and the stars singing out into the sky, completely in harmony and like the first breath of a frosty morning. It was a melody of peace, a melody of unmatched beauty that mortals could only hope to achieve. It was like the smell of cinnamon spice at yule time, that would warm you up like only a mother and father’s love could. It was truly unmatched.

It was then that Jupiter realised that Israfel had been looking directly at him while singing, and it was also then that Jupiter decided he _had_ to come back.

Too bad that he didn’t realise what would happen in a matter of months, if not weeks...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hm. Major writer’s block for this chapter in some parts, but then others just flowed. I didn’t know where to go after the library scene so it feels a little....forced. However I wanted to write and some scenes just came, and so I did. And now it’s really long. Lmao.


	3. Of Realisations and Deception

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jupiter realises a key fact about himself.

The reason why Jupiter kept coming back to Israfel’s concerts was mainly because whenever he looked at him, there was nothing. He could take off his eyepatch and stare at this perfectly pure person with nothing on him. He could block out the world and stare at Israfel’s clean aura, the cleanest he’d ever seen. People would be so calm and so at peace that nothing affected Israfel like he’d seen bad moods and troubles rubbing off onto another person while two people talked.

Jupiter would make an excuse every weekend to go and see Israfel. He’d tell his parents about imaginary friends he’d hang around with, having fun and playing like normal people. He wouldn’t tell them about how he was shunned at Wunsoc by the elder scholars. It wasn’t a lie either. He just told the stories of playing around at Wunsoc, or the daydreams he used to have when he was younger. People would _like_ him in his unit, but they wouldn’t want to get too close.

However, they were nice and they were like distant siblings that had gone to college when he was a child. They’d joke around, but hadn’t yet got to the stage where they could mockingly insult each other and fake fight. They wouldn’t invite him to play with them, seeing as they lived in the southern boroughs and he lived in the north. But Jupiter was okay with that. He had acceptance. It was better than his childhood “friends” who were subjected to his frequent migraines of the feelings and sights that assaulted him. They’d broken off the friendship and left him.

He startled out of his thoughts when he almost missed the stop. He hopped off the Wunderground and pulled his eyepatch over his eye, walking steadily in the direction of the Hall where he knew Israfel would be performing that evening. He made his way into the Hall by sneaking past the supervisor—she probably knew that he never paid—and pushed to the front. To his usual spot. The spot where he could be laid bare and not mind. The spot where he could stare into his angel’s eyes....wait where did _that_ come from? He shook all thoughts out of his head and focused on Israfel’s descent.

Like always, their eyes met and it felt like Israfel was singing for him. He always seemed like the song he was singing was more special than the last, like they were forming a bond. Jupiter wanted to hop onto stage and sing right along with Israfel, only he felt like he was glued in place, unable to do anything other than sway slightly and give an adoring gaze to the dark skinned angel on stage. He felt slightly like a fangirl, but one look at the shimmering aura pouring off him and curling gently around each person like their greatest dreams were being fulfilled at that very moment. The sight made his expression calmer and Jupiter lost himself in the music.

After the song was finished and Jupiter was left feeling whole and complete and ever so specially purified, he began to make his way out of the hall, throwing glances over his shoulder to see Israfel speaking to one of the stagehands. He thought nothing of it and left the hall, replacing his eyepatch as he did so. Sneaking one last glance, he saw a pair of eyes staring at his eyepatch quizzically as the doors closed.

* * *

The supervisor was looking for someone. The crowd had stopped and was forming a single line, and Jupiter tagged on the end. His exit was blocked, after all. He could see them matching a description to faces, and he had a sneaking suspicion it was him.

_But why would Israfel want to see me? I’m just the kid.  
_

But even so, he couldn’t quell a curl of hope that blossomed, just like Israfel’s aura.

”Kid?” One of the managers was standing in front of him with an expectant expression. 

Jupiter nodded his head. “Yeah?”

“Come with me, please.” The manager shouted something down a walkie talkie and the crowd started moving. However, the manager took Jupiter the other way, back to the Hall. Back to the room with the stage. And on the stage was sitting Israfel. The manager awkwardly backed out of the room and Jupiter removed his eyepatch. Israfel looked so pure sitting there, the sheen of sweat on his skin making him glow in Jupiter’s eyes.

Israfel tapped the eyepatch. “Why do you wear this?” He asked, his accent unplaceable.

”I’m a Witness,” Jupiter said hesitantly. He ducked his head and waited for the inevitable. 

”That must be hard for you. I understand now.” 

Jupiter breathed a sigh of relief, which turned into a sharp intake of breath as he heard Israfel’s next words.

”So why do you take it off when you are with me?”

”It’s...hard to explain,” Jupiter replied, taking his eyes off Israfel and focusing on his aura which was wrapping around him and almost purring like a kitten. “When people interact, their moods and inflections will rub off onto the other person and cause their auras to share the same colours and shades. With you, however, when you sing, people become peaceful. Nothing would ever bother them, so you have the purest aura I’ve seen until date. It...” he broke off. He did _not_ mean to start that sentence.

”It what?”

”It dances around people,” he whispered. “It curls around them like a small child and their innocence, and it makes them feel like nothing could bother them again.”

Israfel sang a few notes, taking Jupiter’s hands, and Jupiter found he could not look away. Blushing a little, he wrenched his hands out of Israfel’s and wrapped them around himself. 

”What does that remind you of?” Israfel murmured.

”Safety, guidance and... and love.” He matched Israfel’s murmur volume-wise.

”I was hoping for that,” Israfel replied quietly. “The love bit, I mean.”

Jupiter let out a shaky breath. “You mean you...”

Israfel nodded as if he was afraid that Jupiter would reject him. “I think so.”

Jupiter locked his eyes with Israfel’s and leaned slowly towards him, but as their lips were about to touch, Israfel pulled away, shaking his head slightly.

”Not yet. You’re too young. I can’t do that to you.”

Jupiter sighed, disappointed. “I...I understand.”

Israfel kissed the top of Jupiter’s head and pulled him into an embrace. “Maybe when you’re a little older.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would have stopped at Israfel sitting on the stage but you would have all killed me :’)  
> Also baby gays minus the age gap thing. I figured I’d face crucifixion if they actually kissed.


	4. Mutual adoration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *Juprafel intensifies*

The next few months saw Jupiter and Israfel hang out with each other more and more. Each time Israfel had a show, Jupiter would be there, and he’d loiter afterwards until Israfel came for him, and they’d spend time backstage. They’d spend hours together, hanging out in Israfel’s rooms, and Jupiter rarely spent any time at home. Needless to say, his parents were worried but also elated that their son had found so many amazing friends. Ao they didn’t question him. Although they should have.

Jupiter desperately wanted to turn eighteen so that they could share their first kiss. He was impatient, unwilling to wait until he reached his majority so that he could be in a “proper” relationship with Israfel. He was slightly obsessed, but then again, who wouldn’t be? It was unhealthy, but then everything changed.

* * *

Jupiter had been hanging around with his Unit members when one of the older units were spotted walking towards them. From their formation, it spelt trouble, yet when Jupiter tried to flee, his unit mates kept him in place. They’d face it together. At least, that’s what they said. 

The elder scholars had reached them by now.

”Well, well, if it isn’t the _all seeing_ and his sycophants,” one jeered. Baz Charlton, if Jupiter’s memory served him correctly. The way he said it made Jupiter feel as if his entire existence didn’t matter. But that’s how he was born, he couldn’t help it. He took a step back and bumped into a unit mate, who looked uncertain themselves. 

”Yeah?” Jupiter said, standing up tall and trying to be brave. “What are you trying to say?”

”You shouldn’t even _be_ here. WunSoc isn’t for weirdos like you.”

Jupiter snorted despite himself. “That insult got real old very quickly.”

The smirk died off his face though, as Baz grabbed his shirt and slammed him into the wall. Jupiter flinched and looked around for his unit mates, who had taken the opportunity to flee. _So much for brothers and sisters._

Just as Baz was about to deliver a punch to Jupiter’s jaw, though, another voice spoke up.

”Leave him alone!” It was a girl, about two years older than him. She had protective equipment on and was in the middle of removing an arm plate. “You can’t go around harassing the younger years!”

Baz groaned and threw Jupiter to the floor. “Ugh, whatever you say, Dawson.”

Dawson, the girl, came over to where Jupiter lay curled up on the floor. He winced as she touched a sore spot on his back.

“You okay there, kid?”

Jupiter nodded tersely.

”If they harass you again, tell someone to get Nancy Dawson. I should really take you to the teaching hospital. You look pretty roughed up.”

”N-no, it’s okay. I have to go...”

Jupiter jumped up and ran for the brolly rail, hooking his umbrella up onto it, not sparing a glance for Nancy, who had stood up and was watching him with a confused expression.

* * *

Jupiter had gone straight to Israfel’s, of course. He needed his...lover? Boyfriend? Almost boyfriend?... to tell him he wasn’t a freak, wasn’t a weirdo, that he was normal and it wasn’t his fault he was born like this and he was _Israfel’s and no one else’s._  
  
He practically leapt off the brolly rail, landing hard on his feet and forgetting to bend his knees so they gave out on him and he crashed onto his back. Jupiter lay there for a few seconds before getting to his knees and then his feet, walking shakily towards where he knew Israfel would be.

It seemed like an eternity until he was at Israfel’s doorstep, and he walked unopposed into the hall where Israfel would meet him and then take him to his quarters. Now he needed to get there by himself. He followed the route he’d taken so many times, until he was stood at the nondescript door. He knocked weakly and waited. And waited. And then pushed the door feebly, watching it open.

He walked into the room, sliding down onto the couch and pulling his legs up. And then he allowed himself to cry, because he was safe here, safe from Baz and his unit mates. And that was where Israfel found him, eyes red rimmed and staring into space.

It didn’t take Israfel long to pull Jupiter next to him and let them sit there until Jupiter spoke.

”My unit mates hurt me,” he admitted quietly. Israfel was silent, waiting for him to continue. “They left me at the mercy of Baz and his unit mates and allowed them to threaten me. They slammed me against a wall and bruised my back, and Baz almost punched me before Nancy Dawson came and stopped them.”

Jupiter peeked up at Israfel, ashamed, only to find his eyes glittering with anger.

”No one hurts you and get away with it,” Israfel growled, standing up and leaving the room.

Jupiter watched, eyes wide with fear and frozen on the spot.

But then Israfel poked his head back in. “There’s ointment for a bath in the second drawer down.” And then he left.


End file.
